Your Relationship with your Siblings

Studies show that siblings tend to bond closer in later life and the relationship between siblings lasts longer and is stronger than any other we have in our lives.  They surmise one of the reasons is the bond of memories from our childhood that we share.  Perhaps vacation related, holiday related, in addition to being the only person who probably knew you back when you were a child. Any rivalry tends to be put aside in adulthood and relationships are stronger than ever. Often, the need to help aging parents helps forge a new and stronger bond between siblings.

As siblings reach adulthood and start off on their own lives, beginning with college or marriage, it is normal for siblings to drift apart. But as middle age comes upon us, we tend to feel a need and desire to create a bond with them. Maybe we are yearning to share childhood memories, perhaps memories from happier times.

Birth Order plays a role in our sibling relationships that begins when we are kids and has a role as we turn into seniors.

• First born's tend to be authoritive, responsible, and driven. They tend to take the role of surrogate parent.  In adulthood they should start to relinquish this role. Let younger siblings take responsibility and leadership in family issues or events. Avoid your first instinct to give advice to younger siblings. They mean even seek it as they play out their own traditional role, but fight the temptation to fall in your usual roles. Let them come up with their own solution.
• Middle Children - also known as the peacekeepers and the ones that avoid conflict. The ones that can see both sides of their siblings view and the ones that want everyone to get along.  In adulthood, the middle children should take a stronger and role in their family place.  Speak their mind and not always be the negotiator in family conflicts.
• The Youngest Child - The Baby of the Family -The youngest in the family normally has an advantage of security of having their older siblings throughout their childhood defending and looking out for them.  They have to take a stronger role and prove that they are strong individuals and just because they happened to be born last doesn't mean they lack strength and leadership qualities.